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Upon Reflection - 2023 Was the Year of Rollercoasters & Butterflies

Updated: Dec 31

2023 Upon Reflection - It was the Year of Roller Coaster Rides and Butterflies 

The week after Christmas and before New Year's Eve is a week that I use every year as a point of reflection. I slow down, take more time to stop, reflect on the year coming to a close, assess, plan a pivot if needed for the upcoming year, and journal about lessons learned. 

I then take time to set goals for the upcoming year for various categories: Spiritually, Psychologically (Mental Health + EQ), Intellectually (IQ), Relationally, Financially, Physically (Health), FUN GOALS are important too (such as - what vacation do I plan to take?)

Meeting Goals from 2022

Last year I met many of my goals such as graduating from Bethel School of Ministry - Year 1! I also participated in a mission trip to Denmark.  These were extremely rewarding and fulfilling! I also donated hours to ministry and volunteered on the prayer team, led a bible study, led counseling sessions, participated on the prophetic team and formed a new ministry! 

I also started piano lessons, focused more on eating right and exercising (physical), saw a therapist regularly to keep my psyche healthy and strong, and worked on my Spanish language skills.

Starting a New Clothing Company - Making Progress

My most fulfilling venture was starting Heartfire Clothing Co. with these two incredible people - John Nelson and Emma Adamako which is my passion project and HEARTS DESIRE - to serve alongside two incredible prophetic Christians with talent, intellect, HEART, and most importantly Spiritual Intelligence.

This clothing company came as I counseled, primary women, and noticed a gap and lack of women fully realizing their self-worth and identity. So many were believing the lie that they were UNWORTHY - it was almost the hidden pandemic. Wearing Statement clothing helps to remind me of Who I am and is a way to remind others as well - YOU ARE WORTHY. You are Loved. You are Chosen. You have Meaning. You have a Purpose! You have a divine identity in Christ.

The goals I did not achieve were making a combined income of $200k nor did I meet the man of my dreams. Oh well, there’s always 2024!!

Rollercoaster Rides

This year, 2023, was like a roller coaster ride which started out in the beginning with a tremendous high and then the dip . . . promised dreams that never came to fruition - big risks that dissipated into smoke or nothingness -  or so I thought! One friend said, “It wasn’t a setback - it was a set up for bigger things!” It was hard to believe at the time, but it was a good word that became TRUE!

I typically like roller coaster rides, but when a deep plummet happens it can take one's breath away. 


The nothingness turned into a type of dark night of the soul - a time of soul searching -  which often accompanies tremendous loss - loss of a friend, the passing of a loved one, the broken engagement, etc. They all have different time constraints and varying degrees of darkness. The darkness can crush you or TRANSFORM you - it depends on how you decide to approach it. Will you process through the pain or succumb to it.

I liken the “dark night of the soul” to being in a cocoon. The caterpillar spins the cocoon where it is all alone, isolated, cut off from the rest of the world, left alone with its own thoughts, unable to move around very much as it is bound up - forced to be still. It’s not able to eat nor able to move from leaf to leaf.

I asked, “What now Lord?”

I heard God say, “I want you to take some time off of work, focus on yourself, create, play, garden, spend time with Me, spend more time reading my word, go for more walks and hikes, learn to play an instrument, cook, bake - anything creative, playful and lighthearted.” So I did and it was healing. I hadn’t had a true vacation for 3+ years and I knew I needed some time for refreshment and renewal. 

It’s said that once inside the cocoon or Pupa or Chrysalis, the caterpillar's complete DNA starts to transform and change as it prepares for a re-birth. It liquefies. If the cocoon is shattered before the caterpillar is completely transformed then the caterpillar dies; however, if the caterpillar is left inside the cocoon too long and never able to break free - it also dies.

One has to let the transformation take place, within the appropriate span of time or Chronos which is the measure of a qualitative time or exact time. It can’t be rushed and it can’t be prolonged or it’s fatal to the caterpillar. In the Book of Ecclesiastes, chapter 3 - King Solomon, the wisest of all Kings who ever lived, wrote, “There is a time for everything.” 

As the caterpillar waits in the cocoon, which becomes a type of womb bringing about rebirth - it is forming new body parts from special cells that were once hidden (think - new skill sets, talents, etc are being brought to the surface) - it must allow the entire transformation to process through completely according to the exact prescribed time or chronos.

As its worm-like frame melts down to form new body parts and it sheds the old, the process is painful and uncomfortable and is called Molting. 

New body parts such as wings, feet, eyes, and other parts start to emerge. The process is called Metamorphosis or Transformation or Change in Shape/Form. 

New dreams, new visions, new revelations, new things are forming and being birthed.

Once the process is complete the caterpillar becomes an entirely new creature with long legs, compound eyes, colorful wings, and long antennae.

The caterpillar must break itself out of the cocoon in order to have wings strong enough to FLY - no one can do it for the caterpillar and if one tries to enable it - the caterpillar will die. Rule of thumb - don’t do for others what they can (and should) do for themselves. You’re not helping anyone and most likely its a hindrance and weakening the person.

Once the caterpillar breaks free of the cocoon or Chrysalis, it must flap its wings and begin to FLY !!

For me, new dreams are being birthed, new opportunities, and new visions for the future - it’s been a time of Transformation and Re-Birth with the help of the Lord who breathed new LIFE into me and said, “Now it’s time to FLY daughter!” His breath filled my wings with LIFT.

People, unlike butterflies, will potentially go through several of these personal transformations in their lifetime, and as these moments or shifts can feel uncomfortable and be painful, if you process through them in a healthy way, then they can be great times of significant transformation and personal growth.

You decide - only you can make the decision. 

Will you allow the moment, the pain, the disappointment, the lost relationship, lost job, loss of income to crush you? OR will you press in, partner with Jesus, surrender your pain, anxiety, fears, and keep moving forward -  putting one foot in front of the other - seeking healthy outlets for your frustration, disappointment, pain, and grief.

Let JESUS purify, transform, and strengthen you as you move towards being stronger, more resilient, filled with grit, exhibiting perseverance and diligence - all culminating into a TRANSFORMED LIFE flying high above life’s circumstances and experiencing TRUE JOY.

Romans 12:2 says "Do not be conformed by the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you'll be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will."

So, I encourage you to take a beat to sit back and reflect on 2023 

How did you do in 2023? 

What could you have done differently?

Would that have made things better or worse? 

What were you proud of accomplishing?

Are you becoming the type of person that you can be proud of? 

Are there people or habits that you need to break off and let MOLT away? 

What goals do you have for 2024? 

Are you birthing new dreams? 

What new habits do you need to adopt to make these dreams become your new reality?

Be blessed, 


Check out our Butterfly Line of Statement Wear if you’re ready to create, pivot, launch, dream, set lofty goals, and transform into the beautiful and amazing person that God has created you to be!

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